Not officially through the first four days but am close.

First off, P90X has been EXACTLY what I’m looking for, which is a program that relentlessly assaults and remedies my weaknesses. The bummer here is that I have far more than I realized, and I already knew I was weak. The good thing is Tony (whose blog I just found) encourages you to ditch the ego and focus on proper form and improvement over over-exertion for the sake of glory. That’s good, because this is humbling stuff.

Day 1: Chest & Back & Ab Ripper X

I don’t like push-ups. I don’t like pull-ups. The majority of this routine is doing variations of both until your arms are limp noodles. Weee. There are also some military-friendly exercises called “Dive Bombers” that simulate crawling underneath a fence, coming out the other side, thinking better of it, then crawling backwards again, repeat and so on. Shockingly enough, I could do that one, which suggests I am well prepared to trespass into fenced pastures if necessary! Nothing glamorous with this routine, just meat & potatoes type stuff.

Oh, and you end with Ab Ripper X, which is a 15 minute barrage to the abs. This is precisely another type of activity I would not do if left to my own devices. No worries, this program rubs your face in it. You’re not going to get out of this program without strong abs seems to be the message.

Day 2: Plyometrics

Partially fun, partially hell. This is definitely aerobic in nature as you jump around everywhere. A lot of the jumps simulate actual activities you might engage in if you’re not resigned to a desk-bound job in an air conditioned office; you know, stuff our forefathers might have done, like jumping across creeks, or hopping through rows of tires, practicing a jump shot in basketball, and so forth. All of this was novel for me as I haven’t played a sport in two years, and my legs felt like leprous sandbags by the end of the routine. Even simple exercises such as scampering around a towel in a circle  made me look like I was recovering from having been bed-ridden for a year.

Day 3: Shoulders & Arms

Suspiciously easy workout compared to the previous two. A lot of fairly conventional shoulder, bicep and tricep work, almost all of which I had done before. “This is not what I paid for!” I wanted to think, but secretly I was grateful it wasn’t more punishing. In the end, I had worked all the muscle groups to virtual failure, so I can’t complain too much about the effort required…and besides, little did I know what the next day would bring…

Oh, again, this session ends with Ab Ripper X. Fun ab onslaught.

Day 4: Yoga X

Holy Mother of God!!! This is one of the most humbling routines I’ve ever endured.  I felt like a crippled swan through most of this routine, as it emphasizes muscle endurance, balance, and flexibility, all of which I lack in spades. Most of the positions were vastly uncomfortable and I’d estimate I only did 50-60% of the overall routine to any sort of accuracy. Yes, it’s that hard. It’s the kind of thing I could see a cocky football player trying and quitting halfway through.
However, if you check your ego at the door, you just press through it and try to improve.

The first 50 minutes or so are the hellish part. The last 40 minutes (yes, another wrinkle, this is an hour and a half routine) are a little easier as they emphasize stretching more. The last 10 minutes are actually quite relaxing. Tony mentions that this is the “Yin” to the “Yang”, to which I thought, “Hey buddy, you only gave us 10 minutes of pure Yin and killed us the rest of the time!”

Oh well, I can always get a tamer Yoga program elsewhere if I want to get all relaxed with it.

Oh, below is the pose I attempted and failed at miserably. My goal is to be able to do it after the 90 day period.

Not for panzies